Hello world, I’m back!
I didn’t post last week because quite frankly, I didn’t have anything to say. But something I’ve realised over the past few weeks has led me to writing this post.
As I said in my last post, something I’ve realised since moving away from my parents, and to another city (let’s face it, a city 10 times scarier than little Cardiff) is that everyone is out for themselves. Personally, I can admit that I am a people pleaser. I want to make people happy in everything I do. Something my Mum, Queen Jackie, has always taught me is to put others before yourself. It’s something that I can wholeheartedly admit that I think about every day, and try my best to do, because, if the people around you are happy, inevitably you will be too. Unfortunately something I’ve had to learn along the way is, you can’t please everyone. No matter how hard you try, that cup of tea will either be too bitter or too sweet, the jeans you’re wearing will be too tight or too baggy, you’ll never be enough, and you’ll never win. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s okay!
For Christmas I received a book called “How to win friends and influence people”, and before you say anything , no, it isn’t a book that teaches you how to be popular. It’s a guide written by Dale Carnegie on people. How to speak to people more effectively, how to make people happy in the way you interact with them and one of the main things I’ve taken from this guide so far is, arouse in other an eagerness for what they want. The majority of people’s favourite word is ‘I’, you want everyone to know how well you’ve done, how far you’ve come, where you’ve been and where you want to go. Yes it’s good to be proud of yourself and your achievements, shout it from the rooftops if you want but just remember, your initial achievements will be someone’s gain, will benefit someone else, will be the reason someone employs you to work for them, will be the reason they’re your friend. Because that thing that you’re good at, will make them happier or more successful or more popular.
Something I spoke about with Dan today was before we moved to London and started university we both had the fear that we wouldn’t make friends. The both of us took gap years before moving for two completely different reasons, but they’re irrelevant. While having this conversation I kept thinking about high school and the friends I made during my gap year. When you’re in school you think that the friends you have made there, and may have had since being a tiny tot, will be your life long buddies, that you’ll all live in the same area, and have kids at the same time, and they’ll all be friends, and they’ll do everything together, just like you did. But reality is, when you leave you probably won’t speak to the majority of those people again. Sometimes you end up arguing and end the friendship on a bad note, maybe you just stopped talking, and most of the time you just drift apart. You grow as people and become who you will be. The same goes for when you go through your first couple of months at uni. Truth is, you have no idea who these people are! And everyone puts their best foot forward, but the first couple of months of living away and having total independence changes and shapes you as an adult, and even then the same thing can happen.
The concept of making friends is such a weird one but we both agreed that, we don’t really know how to! How do you make friends? When you’re little you share your toys with them or play games, but I’m pretty sure if I rocked up to uni on the first day and asked who wanted to play with me and share my toys, I wouldn’t have any friends.
I’m not sure if any of this makes sense so I’ll leave you with something that does. It’s a quote from a song called ‘Cup of Tea’ by one of my favourite country singers, Kacey Musgraves.
“You can’t be everybody’s cup of tea, some like it bitter, some like it sweet. Nobody’s everybody’s favourite so you might as just make it how you please. ‘Cause you can’t be, everybody’s cup of tea”
Speak to you soon.