Frustration

Frustration – the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.

Frustration is something I’ve felt a lot this week, over stupid things that are completely out of my control i.e other people. What frustrates me most is slow walkers, and people who are too stuck in their own head that they don’t think of anyone else.

A couple of situations have cropped up this week that I’ve got myself into a little bit of a tizzy over, mainly because they’re not actions or thoughts or situations that I’d put myself in (if that makes any sense, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t haha). There is one situation which is quite long-term and ongoing, I’m going to outline it and not go into too much depth only because I don’t want to upset anyone I’m purely just ranting, but this one situation has been brought up to me directly only because I’m the face of it. The situation doesn’t apply to me though, and that’s why it’s frustrated me so much, because it’s quite a large problem but one that doesn’t concern me, but I’m the one who has to deal with all the questions surrounding it! And every time I’m confronted with it I get the “I know it’s not you, but why is it happening?”, I don’t know! I’m not part of the problem you’re getting irritated by.

Frustration is a frustrating emotion which makes you even more frustrated which adds to the frustration, how frustrating! At this moment in my life I don’t know how to deal with frustration, for example, if you’re happy you share it with someone and you’re just happy, if your sad, you cry or you try to do something to make yourself happy, if you’re angry you try and calm yourself down, but if you’re frustrated what do you do?! If you have a good frustration buster that works for you please let me know because I’d love to give it a try.

Now, my rant is done, now I have something happy and lighter for you! (What a relief, I know). My friend, Chips/Sarah, does little monthly videos with little clips of her month, and I thought since I don’t do posts telling you about my weeks anymore that I would jump on her bandwagon and do that to! So here it is, it’s a bit rough because it’s my first video but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. It’s a little bit short because I only started filming half way through the month! (the beginning looks like it’s a video of Dan but it’s not, trust me haha).

I hope you’ve all had a good week and I’ll speak to you soon. I hope you enjoy the video and don’t forget to leave your frustration busters below and share this with your friends if you enjoyed listening to me rant this week 🙂

Lols xx

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Almost forgot!

Today, I have been so bored that I showered twice in the space of four hours, well at least I’m clean eh! I also almost forgot that it was Tuesday and that it was time for another update!

This week started off on a massive high for me because, not only did I come home from uni on Friday with a 1st in one of my exams and a huge grin on my face but… I GOT THREE MORE 1STS! How exciting, so all of my being anti-social and cutting myself off to the world at the end of last term payed off, and thank God for that. It’s started this semester on a high, one that I am determined to carry throughout the rest of the term.

Like I said last week, I am going to switching my blog posts up a little bit and not do the whole “On Friday I did this, and on Saturday I went there blah blah blah”. Because I think we can all agree in saying it was getting a little bit boring and I feel (and I’ve been told) that I need to work on my writing a little bit (a lot). So that’s what I’m going to do. If there is anything you’d like to hear my opinions on, or if you need any advice on something (not that I’m the best at advice giving, but I’ll give it a go!), or if you just have a request of what you’d like me to talk about in my posts, please feel free to pop them in the comment’s either on my blog or on the various social media’s you found this link on.

Like I said, I’ve been so bored today that I showered twice in the space of four hours and I spent a good 45 minutes trying to pry the back of my watch off to change its battery (I didn’t succeed), since it hasn’t been ticking since well before Christmas. When people see that my watch isn’t ticking/isn’t set to the right time they often question why I’m still wearing it. I don’t know about you, but personally, I don’t like to go out and not wear a watch, in fact it’s not only my watch. If you see me daily or you’ve known me for a while you might’ve noticed that I always have my watch on (obviously) and a selection of bracelets. I question sometimes whether this may be a very minor form of OCD and if I don’t wear them do I think someone I love is going to die, or that something bad will happen to me? The answer is, I don’t know! I just know that if I’m not wearing them I feel naked. The same goes for a necklace I have. I received it as an 18th birthday present from my parents early in 2016. But Lauren, you turned 18 in 2015, I hear you say. Yes, I did, and as a gift from my parents I received some money. Money that they didn’t want me to just go out and blow on clothes or shoes, and for a while I didn’t feel like I needed or wanted anything in particular I could splash this amount of cash on!

And then it came to me in a dream… Lol I wish. No in all seriousness, when I was little, I can’t remember how old, after my Nan passed away my Mam bought me a gold heart shaped locket. In this locket was a picture of my Nan and I would wear it everywhere. I noticed shortly after I turned 18 that I didn’t have anything that was a particular part of my Mams Dad after he passed away, or Ubba as we called him. So as my 18th birthday present from my parents I would receive a gold necklace with my name on it, in Arabic. Ubba’s heritage was Arabic and he was a practicing Muslim and so that would be my piece of him and I wear it every day without fail.

Went off on a little bit of a tangent there, back in the room. I wear these items every day. They’re a habit, but also a comfort and my safety net. The bracelets I wear are ones I was given as gifts, two of them are bracelets I received from Shelley. They came in a three piece set that had the words luck printed on the packaging, and on one of the bracelets. I wear two because the third broke, sad times :(. And the other, a Carrie Eslpeth bracelet that had the quote “Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but you know they’re always there” on the packaging was bought for me as a leaving present when I moved. Lauren gave me that one.

Like I said in my ‘Home Comforts’ post back in October, how I like to combat homesickness is by surrounding myself with home comforts, that I know will make me feel better! These are a few of my home comforts, they’re the things that I sometimes catch out of the corner of my eye and it makes me think of home. And that makes me happy. It’s a constant reminder for me of where I’m from, and that they’ll always be there, but most importantly, to make them proud by working as hard as I can. Something I feel I achieved last semester, and I can see in my results, and my friends and family at home are all thrilled for me.

Hope you enjoyed this post, please click the share button and give it a cheeky like, and let me know what you would like to see me talk about! I’m going to leave you with one of my favourite Welsh quotes, and i’ll speak to you soon 🙂

Lols xx

“Does unman yn debyg i adra, ac ma adra’n debyg iawn i chdi”

I’m Sorry :)

Hiiii… Yes I’m here, yes I’m posting two days late. Sorry, I hope you all still love me.

Second week back and I’m still trying to settle back into a routine. I know it was only three hours on a Monday but those three hours made all the difference for some reason. It’s strange going in for a day and a half and knowing you won’t be back in for another week.

This week has made me realise and differentiate who’s in uni to succeed and who’s there for the nights out and the constant drinking. For example, yesterday we practically had a full class, about 20 out of 24 turned up. Brilliant, almost a full class, a wider range of opinions, more class participation and conversation. Not today. 11 out of 24 turned up today! Why? I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you why most of the class decided to come in yesterday and today less than half were there. I don’t understand, I’m not going to go crazy and keep whining about it because at the end of the day I was there, I’m getting the most out of the course by turning up and I’m starting to see the result of that in my work, my knowledge and my results. We were given one of our exam marks back today and had the chance to look through them at where we went wrong and so on. I’m extremely happy with my mark, I got a 1st!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m going to try to change my blog up a little and forget about the whole this week I did this, and went there and saw this, like I did last semester and give you all a brief overview of my week and give you a little something about my week.

So this week is my I’m grateful week. Dan surprised me on TuesdayIMG_1438.JPG with drinks up in the Sky Garden near Monument Station. It was absolutely beautiful (I mean look at it, can you imagine throwing a party there!). It made me feel very lucky to have him in my life. It made me realise how much family and friends mean to me. I’ve always realised how lucky I am, if you know me then you know me then you know how the past five years have been for me and family and friends where the things that got me through. I was asked today, “How did you get through it, how did you cope?”. I simply replied with “My family and friends.”. The constant support and positivity that is injected into me through them is the only way I got through it and continue to get through it. Like I said at Christmas time, thank you. You know who you are and I hope you know how much you mean to me because trust me, it’s a hell of a lot! You’re a special type of people who are absolutely nuts but you keep me nuts so I can’t help but love you.

I hope you’ve all had a fabulous week. Mine has ended on a high and I hope yours has too. Have an amazing weekend and I’ll speak to you soon.

Lols xx

The green, green grass of home.

Being home felt like I had never left, yet being back in London feels the same. I do realise that I said I would be posting while I was at home for the Christmas holidays but I did not stop. From working, to seeing friends, to spending time with family, I did not stop.

Dad picked me up from the bus station on the Friday in my little Constavlos for the first time in three months, oh my sweet Lord, it was the best feeling ever!

I was going to tell you all about everything I did and bore you with the “and then I did this, and then I went here, and then I got this”, but I’m not going to bore you with that! Instead I’m just going to tell you about the highlights of my three weeks at home.

Christmas for me has always been the time of year where I spend the most time with friends and family. Although, obviously, I spend most of my year with friends and family but Christmas is the time where I spend more quality time with them, which I love. There is nothing I like more than sitting in a relative/friend/my own house when it’s full of the people you hold most dear and everyone is chatting and just having a good time.

What made this Christmas holidays more special for me, I think, is that I have been living away from home for almost four months now and that I had been looking forward to going home so much for the last three weeks of last semester. It honestly felt like I had never left, everything was exactly how it was when I left and it was amazing. And being back in London is exactly the same, everything was exactly how it was when I left and it feels like I didn’t go home in the first place.

Being at home meant going back to work. As much as that place does stress us out, frustrate us, annoy us, I was over the moon to be back and be with my favourite people. Just like at home, nothing has changed and it’s that sense of comfort and routine that I love. Although Christmas at the Village was surprisingly quiet this year it meant that I had more time to chat with regulars and my pals (much to the spite of my Team Leader ;)).

IMG_0876.JPGSomething that was different this year is obviously, I have a rogue Daniel in my life. He’s a pain, but he’ll do ;). But because I have the best parents in the entire world they let Dan come and stay with us over the New Year and I honestly had the best New Year’s Eve/New Year I’ve ever had. As a family we’ve never really celebrated welcoming the New Year. But as Alex and myself have got older we’ve been going to parties and out and what not. This year, Queen Jackie, Daddio, Alex, Taryn (Alex’s girlfriend), Daniel and I all went out for a beautiful meal at The Plough in Whitchurch (I genuinely couldn’t move for a good 15/20 minutes afterwards). After that Dan and I went to meet Shelley, Tom and the lads down in Winter Wonderland to welcome in the New Year together. And like I said, it’s the best New Year I’ve had so far. We had the best night and just danced the it away (no better way to do it right?).

Saying goodbye to Cardiff again was just as hard as it was when I first left, except I had a new year and a new semester to come back to. This year I’m feeling really positive and optimistic (new year, new me, bla bla bla), but no, I am ready to throw myself back into uni life! Lectures, for me, start back tomorrow and my timetable has changed so instead of 10-1 on Thursdays and 10-4 on Fridays, I’m now not in on Mondays, 10-6 on Thursdays and 10-3 on Fridays.

One thing that I already have planned for the next couple of weeks is I’m going home, haha, yes I am going back to Cardiff in three weeks for the Village Hotel Christmas party (me so excited).

I am very grateful for my amazing network of family and friends back at home and they make going back all the better. They’re all such amazing people which such amazing personalities and I miss them so much while I’m away. To those of you who are reading who are part of that network, you know who you are, thank you for everything you do for me and I love you eternally, you are home and you’re the ones that make me proud of where I come from.

I hope you all had a magical Christmas and an amazing New Year. I will be back to uploading on a Tuesday as of next week and I look forward to starting a new year of adventures with you all.

Speak to you soon,

Lols xx